Chinglish

One of the most amusing aspects of learning language and culture here in China is something that is affectionately called "Chinglish."  This is, obviously, a combination/translation of words from both English and Chinese.  And we don't always know what the translation is supposed to be!  For example, at a hotel breakfast one morning, Emily drank something labeled "Because Kraft Jane." The result?  Hot Tang.  Like hot Tang, we have seen all sorts of signs, packages, and clothing with questionable and sometimes completely baffling language.  Here are a few of our favorite (appropriate) examples of Chinglish.

Oh! Just what I needed.  A 'thing'.

I don't know what this creature is but it sounds cute!

That's what the livestock truck on the way
to the slaughterhouse sounds like, ps.

We googled "Palace Bucket Freak Alumni Association,"
hoping to contact the affiliated university.   No results.

Jujubes are a popular fruit here. 
 We don't know why they are used 
to adhere to certain, uh, body parts.

Placenta: the newest trend in China fashion!
All the girls are wearing it.

Can I get two yards of spicy bean curd material, please?
I'd like to make a skirt.

If it's alive, or once was alive, put it in
the rubbish bin on the right.

AJ is already feeling better about life.

The signs in the various scenic areas are
 very pleasant in their reminders. 

Any idea?  Nearly 6 weeks later we are still baffled.